


Isolation

by yankeetooter



Category: Chernobyl (TV 2019)
Genre: Isolation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 12:03:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20929913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yankeetooter/pseuds/yankeetooter
Summary: Valery contemplates the different times in his life he has been isolated.





	Isolation

**Author's Note:**

> Whumptober prompt...
> 
> Dates are approximate.

Spring 1985

Valery sits at home on a late spring evening, having just finished his dinner. The weather is beautiful and the sidewalk outside his apartment is riddled with young couples out for a stroll. Interspersed with these couples are groups of friends, laughing and joking with each other. It seems the whole world is out enjoying the gorgeous weather, except, that is, Valery.

But Valery is not bothered in the slightest by this. A book on Nuclear Physics, newly arrived today, sits in his study, waiting for him to finish cleaning up after dinner. Valery doesn't care much for walks. He has no girlfriend, no group of friends to share the evening with. All he has thoughts for are his latest acquisition and spending the evening absorbing new ideas.

When he gets to his job tomorrow, he may or may not have occasion to discuss what he's read with his colleagues. His days are busy and he often works through lunch. Even if he stops to eat, it will be in his office. He never joins the others in the university cafeteria, and he would never think of taking the time to step out for lunch, like the others do whenever the weather's nice.

In the spring of 1985, this is the life of Valery Legasov. Others would say he leads a lonely life, an isolated one, but if asked, Valery would scoff. He has his cat Sasha and his books, and no other needs come to mind as far as companionship.

Spring 1986

Valery is woken early in the morning by the phone ringing. It's one Deputy Chairman Shcherbina, who wants him to come to Moscow to be the consulting scientist for some sort of incident at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant.

And just like that, Valery's life is turned upside down.

__________________________

Valery sits in the work trailer, poring over figures. Something's not right, but this something has nothing to do with the papers in front of him. Pikalov and Tarakanov are off somewhere overseeing the cleanup, but that's nothing new. No, although Valery can't admit it to himself, the problem lies with the empty seat at the other desk.

Boris, his companion in this hellhole, is off to Moscow for his periodic doctor's appointment. He'll only be gone until late evening, but Valery misses him more than he would ever admit. Something about the solidity of Boris' presence brings a sort of grounding to Valery in all this chaos. Boris is predictable, Boris is always calm, Boris takes everything in stride.

Oh, it's not that the situation doesn't shake up Boris. Valery has seen that happen too many times, most noticeably when he blurted out their shortened life expectancies. It's just that, somehow, Boris keeps moving forward. And that keeps Valery going most days.

A year ago Valery would have treasured this opportunity for a private workspace. But now he misses the stability of Boris.

_________________

When Boris gets in that evening, Valery practically springs up out of his chair to greet him. _Where did that come from? _

For the rest of the evening, Boris talks of his day in Moscow, telling little anecdotes of his time there. Once Valery would have resented the interruption to his work. Now, he happily sits listening to Boris rambling, although if asked, he would have said he was giving his eyes a much needed break. When Boris eventually says he needs sleep, Valery keeps asking him questions to try and prolong the conversation.

Boris laughed, clapping Valery companionably on the shoulder. "Okay, okay, but I'll be here tomorrow, Valery! If I didn't know better, I'd think you missed me!"

Valery felt his cheeks turning red. "I just like hearing about anywhere but here! Of course you'll be here tomorrow! Where else would you be?"

Boris peered at Valery, his eyes twinkling. "Good night, Valera! Don't stay up all night working!"

Valery tried to go back to work, but what was the point? Boris had returned to the hotel, and he was suddenly tired. Until tomorrow then.

____________________

The next day, Valery couldn't wait to get to the trailer. Sure enough, Boris was there already, as reliable as the sun rising and setting. 

Valery found himself smiling more that day than usual. When Boris insisted it was time to stop and eat lunch, he was shocked when Valery agreed without an argument. He happily sat talking while they ate, catching up Boris about what was going on with the cleanup. Short of the dangerous radiation and the lives endangered every day, Valery caught himself wishing that every day could be like this one.

That night he had a nightmare. The cleanup at Chernobyl was now complete. He had returned to the university, Boris to his work at the Kremlin. They never saw each other any more. Valery would call Boris' office, only to find out that Boris was traveling, inspecting some power plant or other. When asked by Boris' secretary if he wanted to leave a message, he would simply ask her to let Boris know he had called, not wanting to sound as if it was essential that Boris call him back. Then, in the dream, Boris would ring him at the university. But it was always when Valery was giving a lecture, or had traveled to some symposium. 

At some point he must have started yelling in frustration in his dream, because the next moment Boris was in his room, having barged through the door upon hearing Valery's shouts.

Valery peered blearily up at Boris through sleep filled eyes. "Boris, you're here!"

"Of course, Valera! Where else would I be? Let's get a cup of tea in you."

It was silly perhaps, but Valery clung to those moments, never knowing when the nightmare that was not Chernobyl would start.

________________________

Spring 1988

Valery sat in his apartment, alone with his work and Sasha. A most cherished setting some years ago, his heart cried in anguish for what he had lost. If only Boris would (could!) walk through his door. If only they could reminisce about the old days. But true isolation had been imposed on Valery now, and it closed in on him more and more each day. He could no longer cope with it, and thought more and more about the rope in his closet, the sleeping pills in his bathroom cabinet. So many ways, so easy. Maybe today would be that day.

A movement on the windowsill caught his attention. A tiny inchworm crawled along the sill, oblivious to the nearsighted scientist gazing at it, or the scientist's cat, who wondered if it might be something good to eat.

Valery extended a nicotine stained forefinger, coaxing the little inchworm to crawl into his hand. Tears pouring down his face, he remembered that day, sitting on the bench with Boris. Boris patting him on the back, telling him how much he, Valery, had mattered to their efforts, followed by Valery's insistence that it had been Boris who mattered most. If he closed his eyes he could almost feel Boris' hand on his back, remember the embrace Boris had engulfed him in the day the lunar rover had worked.

"Oh, Borya! How can I endure this? If only I could sit and talk to you again!". Valery sobbed his heart out, Sasha butting her head against him in an attempt to get his attention.

Valery finally sat up straight and released the inchworm, picking up Sasha and heading to bed. Maybe he would dream of Chernobyl tonight and forget his isolation for a while.


End file.
